"Little bit of Sharlz-ness"

The photographic dick segment

YOu might all be wondering, why on earth have I titled this blog the photographic dick segment, well that is just it , a blog dedicated to all the men out there who find themselves sending me pictures, no matter what time of the day it is , it could be half 7 in the morning as I leave my house to go to work, or even when I’m on the bog emptying my bowels, I always tend to get a picture of a dick, in all its glory sent to me? Why? You may ask, that is what I would like to know. Let’s take yesterday for instance, it was a Wednesday afternoon, I laid there in all my glory (lol) watching crappy tv when I noticed my crappy phone lighting up? Now you might be thinking why do I seemed shocked that my phone is lighting up? It’s just that ………. I don’t have answer for that question, so I think it’s best that I move on, even though I was shocked. I bent down to pick up my phone and it was this guy, who is quite strange at times, and pops up back on my radar now and then, but on this occasion he has been on the radar for sometime, but always diverts back out( not that I’m bothered).

The conversation went as follows;

Him: I wanna give it to you

Him: u sure you can handle me

Me: I should be asking you that question, can you handle me?

Me: and is that what you just want to fuck me ?

Him: ( image of him lying on his bed, which looks as though he has propped up his body on top of his sheets to give him a bit of height and then wala!!!!

Him holding onto his black dick as he gazes into the camera lens).

If you could see my face, when I received this I weren’t shocked, as I’m use to this shit, but from him, out of the fucking blue like that, he’ll i deserve to be shocked, but the conversation didn’t stop there , it continued on as follows;

Him: hmmmmmmmmm

Him: I fink I can handle you (that is how he spelt think, honestly)

Him: I’ll make you cum

Me: I’m not easy to make come, only if you know how to work it

Him: nah dats not all what I want

Him: if you call me, we can talk about this, but u never want to …. Sad face tears ( what the fuck does he take this for, get the fuck outta here with this bullshit)

Him: send me a pic, like Suttin what I just sent you!

Him: don’t send that around please (praying hands)

Him : tell me what you like then?

Him: do you like foreplay

Him: what position you like best?

Me: your phone don’t ring, that’s why I don’t ring you.

Me: what do you like?

Him: I would like ur feet on my chest and me on top giving it to u deep ( that’s a first about feet on someone’s chest)

Him: why did you block me on Instagram ?

How does a conversation go from sending a pic of your dick, telling me what you want to do me and then end with how comes I blocked you on Instagram….. As Tamar Braxton would say, ain’t nobody got time for dat!!!!!!! And I don’t know whether or not you noticed, that I wasn’t really responding much, reason being is that I just couldn’t be fucked .

And you know what I ain’t heard from him since…… Wait, hold on, I spoke to soon, his messaging me now, so keep your ears peeled and your eyes open for the sequel to , ‘the photographic dick segment’ you have been warned.

Sharlz xxxxxx

afrafemme:

bad-dominicana:

i wish every little girl of color would engrave this into their brain:

everyone does not deserve you. 

and

you do not owe yourself to anyone.

(via curvedmarginz)

Nasty nas and the usual tom foolery i’m faced with……

so, last week tuesday, i went to see Nasty Nas at the o2 and let me say that, it was FUCKING GOOD! Except a few major(some might think that they are minor, but i totally disagree) cock-ups that  happened before and whilst the concert took place, so let’s begin with the run through.

Firstly, when i first came across this concert, i was estatic to see Nas, and even more pumped that his supporting act would be Meek Millz. Now, i know some of you might be thinking, ‘what does sharlz know about Meek, well let me tell you, i know a whole lot……..BITCH!! But that all changed when my mate phoned me and dropped the bomb on me,

Michelle: Sharlz, o2 just called me and said that Meek Millz won’t be at the concert anymore.

Me: What? So who the fuck is replacing him( rubbing my forehead at this point and starting to get frustrated)

Michelle: 2chainz and Azelia Banks

Me: 2chainz, i don’t dig his music, but Azelia Banks is cool, i can run with her.

Michelle: But Sharl, when i saw 2chainz in miami he got me pumped, “22222222CCCHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNZZZZZZ!!!!

Me: Half the time, i don’t even understand what his saying, and why is his name 2chainz, he wears more than 2 chains anyway.

so that was part one. What happened next, i couldn’t understand, why they were trying to toy with me, push my buttons, get me irate, but low and behold they succeeded.

Not only did my mate get it wrong, that Azelia Banks was gonna be one half of the supporting acts, more like shitty Australian Rapper Iggy Azelea (who T.I. signed, probably with his eyes closed and legs and arms tied behind his fucking back. What in gods name was he thinking, god damn it!!!!!!) that was strike two, everything else that happened, took place when we arrived.

The journey there, i was getting more and more excited, i was running along the pavement clicking my heels, like Dick van dyke in Mary poppins, i was nudging complete strangers on the train, going to them,

me: guess what?

stranger on the train: what( looking confused, as to who is this woman)

me: i’m going to see Nasty Nas

stranger:(silence)

There i was thinking this concert was gonna be like Teedra Moses’s concert x4 , or as my mate would say, turn it up, loud!!!!( she’s gonna have a little giggle when she reads this) but the AUDIENCE WAS PANTS. No one seemed that excited to see Nasty Nas grace the stage with his timeless music, they all just sat in their seats and tapped their feet( fucking losers).

In addition to this, when 2chainz came to the stage(we missed Iggy, not that im bothered in the slightest) he was crap. the people sitting behind me( who my mate thought were french, eho might i add din’t sound french at all, far from it. in my opinion they sounded south african, and i was close they were from north africa, but enougth about them) started really getting into this 2chainz dude. all i kept on hearing him say was, crack, crack, crack and ……. crack. He lacked stage presence and i could have honestly had a nap, just a quick snooze until Nas came on the stage.

And that is when it happened, all i remember is hearing the drums, followed by the snears and i knew, it’s about to go fucking down.

He teased us.

We heard him before we saw him, then he came out, owning the stage immediately, wearing his green khaki outfit( something similiar to what i had on) and giving us a performance that i would never forget. He went from old skool like , ‘memory lane, illmatic, to his latest , bye baby and cherry wine. i was in a complete state, i was fist bumping to every tune, b ut when he played , rest of my life’ and ‘one mic’ i went fucking balistic, fist pumping, hips swaying and saying every line, not missing a bar.

Although, it was an entertaining concert( i got nas oyster card holders as memoribila) those who know me know something always has to happen, where ever i am, hardly anything goes plain sailing…..

I was walking home, towards my block, feeling knackered, but my adrenaling still pumping from the night. Rather than take the two flights of stairs, i opted for the lift, and that is where it all began.

Minding my own business, reliving the event , whe the lift door opened and the scene i saw just baffled me. Infront of me was this young guy(who i know, but whose identity i won’t reveal) and young girl eating each others faces off, clothes on the floor, bags dashed in the corner
 moaning and groaning .

So i found myself in an awkward situation. i could ;

a) turn around or take the stairs

b) use the lift since it is already here and act as if nothing is happenig and they’re not really there, doing this.

i took up option b.

I walked into the lift and said, ‘don’t worry(he who shall not be named) i won’t tell your granny.

His response, ‘oh god oh god’

there we were in the lift, me standing so close to the door, with my back facing them not wanting to get caught up in their action. And there they were, him repeating , oh my god, oh my god over and over again, but i couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. unbeknownst to them this block gets active at night so taking refugee to  make out with each other in the lift, and not even move to the different floors but stay on the ground floor, your bound to get caught. im just glad i didnt see a fanny or a limp dick hanging out, then that woudl have been truly off-putting.

sharlz xxxxx 

Women’s Enterprise Event with the Calliste sisters’

So today, on this not so glorious day, with the snow and rain pelting down, my sister and i  embarked, well are setting up shop as they say, promoting her company, ‘Curved Marginz’ and the baby counterpart, ‘Sistah Friend’, a self empowerment project aimed at young women and girls between the ages of 7- 25 years old.

They offer 1-2 workshops, 6 -10 week programmes through creative mediums such as photography, spoken word, poetry, drama, screeenprinting and also encourage submissions from young women and girls. whether it be short stories, Hiaku poems(which i find extremely challenging!) or links to pieces of writing that they have read and would like to share.

Besides our stall, there are  people promoting healthy living, Enfield enterprise delivering advice on how to develop your own business, holistic therapy and many many more.

But, besides that, i would just like to point out how chuffed i am that my sister and i, have come together to promote her companies, yes companies. It is women like Samantha Calliste and Silhouette Bushay who give young women such as myself, the strength to go out there and grab every opportunity at hand, whether it be setting up shop as i earlier stated and putting what you have always dreamed of, into play or just taking those steps to feel more rounded and comfortable with who you are and what you have to offer.

The women’s enterprise event, is a platform for women, no matter what your age, race or sexual orientation is, to come together and show what you have up your sleeve, no pun intended.

As i type, i have the general public, floating around our ever so inviting table, soaking up what we are promoting(how grand that is).

You might be wondering how can i type up this blog, promote Curved Marginz and Sistah Friend at the same time, my answer , i am a woman, phenomenal woman that’s me.

Love Sharlz xxxxx

P.s this is dedicated to my endearing and phenomenal sis, Samantha Calliste

The appropriate way to piss in the street when, it is pissing down with rain…..

OK, i know that there comes a times in each of our lives, where we find ourselves in somewhat of an awkward situation, ermmm awkward toilet situation, but what i want to know is how do you handle this, when you are literally bursting and can feel your piss pressing down on your bladder, getting worse and worse at you get closer to home, but you have another headache, it’s pisssing down with rain( bastard english weather) AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you cope with this? well as i witnessed you just carry on as if it’s not raining, find your spot(preferably where no one can see you,( but in this man’s case, on the blooming high road) and let it all pour out, as witness your trail meandering through your legs and bubbling as it travels on.

This is what i saw on a wet friday evening, after enduring a whole day at work dressed as a minotaur for world book day( yes i had the horns and everything, and even got my tail tugged on by a few MALE parents, but that is another blog ) i just wanted to go home, relax tune my fat arse out and chill, but no something always has to either happen to be or i have to see something that i wish i really didn’t have to experience.

So there i was walking in this shitty weather, clutching on to my umbrella, trying to light a fag and listening to my ipod, when i turned to the corner, no word of a lie, this middle aged bloke was sandwich between a fence and the entrance of someone’s home, holding on to his weener and pissing for the whole world to see.

Now, those of you who know me, know that i can be quite vocal at times, and this was one of those occasions. i guess because;

a) i was tired and irritated

b) i just wanted to get out of this weather

c) Something always happens on my journeys, without fail.

d) His willy wasn’t nice to look at, at all (hehehehe)

i remember walking past and shouting out, “find a more discreet place mate, bloody hell, for fuck sake” and kept it moving, kissing my teeth as i hopped and skipped over his piss trail, what a fucking moron, but low and behold that wasn’t the end of my pissy venture, when i got into my bloke and waited for the lift door to open, there was a surprise for me, a fucking pissy puddle, smell and all.

Shitty neighbours, you make me sick. They say things happen in three’s, i’m just waiting on the third thing to happen now….

Sharlz …

Like Peter Pan….. He lives in never never land .

Look, i don’t tend to bash people, such as my ex’s on my blog, but this time around i thought i would give it ago.

Recently i was reading this article on this entertainment website, when i came across this article which claims, ” 7 signs that your man will never grow up”, and without even realising it, my mind raced back(literally raced) to an ex, the 7 year itch it was i like to call it. Some of you might be familiar with whom i am talking about, so if you are let’s keep it between me and you. No exposure of names please, you have been warned.

So, as i was saying, the article, yeah it provided you with a run down of how to tell whether or not your man, be your current boo or an ‘x’ display the tendencies of NEVER wanting to grow up.

They covered things such as, “never taking the intiative” or ” doesn’t step up or step in”, meaning if you found yourself in an altercation he would rather sit back, hey maybe even pop some popcorn as he watches your arse either being cussed out, or your cussing someone out( that has never happened to me before and i’ll be damned if it starts now, however i can relate to the no intiative bullshit).

There i was with my eyes glued to the computer monitor counting on my fingers, whether or not this ‘x’ of mine fitted the bill or had no relation with him at all.

When it came to the end, i was holding up 4 fingers. 4 out of 7, is that bad? HELL YES IT IS!!!!! What burns more is that it took me sometime to realise these flaws of his. i’m gonna keep it real, i was to happy getting that cocky, that i would lock these thoughts away and just glady take the dick( and i’m not gonna lie it was good too), but there comes a time in your life when you ask yourself, ” was the dick really that stupendous, that you forget who your are as an individual and accept your man’s bullshit because his dick works wonder on you? ” The answer, in my case , i guess i did , but i’m not anymore and haven’t for a llllllooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg. Now don’t get me wrong it has it’s challenging moments, but no one said it would be easy, especially since it all started out when i was 18 and i am now 25( you do the math)…… My minds gone blank now, so i think i’ll end it just like this .

one.

Sharlz xxxxxxx

Knightland rd, emotions and perculiar thinking……

This week has been somewhat of an odd week for me…

Let’s begin with the fact that my emotions have been all over the place to begin with. At times i found myself highly emotionally, uncomfortable around others whom i’ve never really felt that way before around, frustrated at my ‘own’ situations. Basically it’s been a FUCKED UP WEEK!!!!!!!

But, that is not to say that it hasn’t been eventful because it has. For instance, the other day i was walking down Knightland Rd,( quite shocked that i actually remembered the name, since i never know any names of the roads around my area, i just know how to get there and that’s that) can’t actually remember where i was heading, which is irrelevant anyway, but as i got halfway down the road i noticed something, like a bundle of pink candy floss perched neatly on the middle of the pavement. As i got closer, i was shocked to find that it was a little baby girl sitting by herself on the road, with one leg perched underneath her bottom, as she was wrapped up warm in her baby pink all in one.

Now the first thing that crossed my mind was, where the fuck is her parents, but i think what crossed her mind was who is this black ‘thing’ drawing closer to her, because as i got nearer she started to whimper as if i wanted to take her away with me (baby please).

When you find yourself in this predicament, what are you supposed to ? how are you supposed to act? Well, let me tell you i carried on walking, not because i wanted to leave the baby to get on doing whatever it is that she was doing out there, but because i didn’t want to get caught up in anything that didn’t concern me, but i did look around a couple of times to see if anyone was going to claim her, anytime soon.

What happened next, completely shocked me beyond belief. There i was worrying about this little girl(even though it might not seem it ,i was, i have a funny way of showing my emotions) and her fucking family were standing at the top of the stairs which lead to their front door, watching her in astonishment( WHAT THE FUCK , YEP I KNOW). if you ever saw the look i gave them, it would have left you with a chilling feeling, i just couldn’t believe, let alone fathom what was going on their heads. what made them think that it was ok to leave their youngest child(just guessing here) to sit on the pavement, they don’t know what could happen, for they know someone could see her, grab her quickly before you could even run down the stairs and like that she’s gone . what a bunch of fuck arses.

I had witnessed something else this week, but i can’t remember it, but when i do, you’ll be sure to read all about it .

love Sharlz xxxxxxxx

Oh AND DID I TELL YOU I’M GOING TO SEE NAS AND TEEDRA MOSES IN CONCERT? WATCH THIS SPACEXXXXXX

Erm…… can i be your friend ?

Not to long ago i went out for my munch’s birthday, and found myself in a bit of bother on the way there, well maybe not bother but i can’t think of the word right now, but i definetly did encounter some bother on the way back.

So let’s start with the journey home. As i left the club, with two other partygoers, there i am walking down a bustling and freezing Camden road, where it seems as though the night has just begun, when in actual fact for me it was ending, i walked past this bloke(not going to start cussing now, decided to build it up first) who probably, no who definetly liked what he had seen, but rather than be the MAN that he kept on saying that he was, it turned out he was just a fucking pipsqueek who couldn’t handle being told to go and do one and get rejected in the space of two minutes.

You might ask why i refer to him as a FUCKING PIPSQUEEK? Well let’s get into it.

Instead of approaching me with some dignity and manners, my man grunted at me as if i’m some pig and this is how we communicate with each other. So i responded in the best way i thought, i completely ignored his arse, i carried on walking as if he didn’t even exist. Some of might be questioning why did’nt i go off on him? Give him a piece of my mind? Your right i thought about that as i walked away from him, but because i must have bruised his ego that much, he came looking for a cusiing and he got what he deserved, served nice and cold to him.

This man came up to me and was like, ’ why are you black women act stupid?’

me: what are you on about? do you think i’m gonna respond to you if you approach me like that, get the fuck outta here with that bullshit

him: ‘that’s why you black women are aggressive, you don’t know a when a good thing has come your way’

me: (rolling my eyes) ’ A good thing? you grunting at me as if i’m some type of meat, you better get out of here with all that bullshit, and further to the point why do you keep on saying black this, black that, your fucking black yourself ?

him: you should be lucky i’m talking to you(places headphones on his ears and starts to walk away) stupid ‘

me: lucky, if i really wanted to speak to your ugly arse, i would have approached you, but i didn’t so your only mad because i’m not into and i cussed your stupid arse out, so bye get lost you muppett’.

Part 2: The Jewish Encounter

Finally leaving Camden and making my way home, i wait by myself at the bus stop at Stamford Hill. My belly was craving for a chicken kebab so i got off the bus and fulfilled my needs, which delayed my journey home,  but i didn’tr mind because that chicken kebab tasted goodie!!!!!!

As i waited at for the bus with no more chicken kebab to munch on, i noticed this jewish man walking aimlessly, bearing in mind it was 3.30 in the morning and he was just wondering around as if walking without a care in the worls at this hour was normal to him, but what wasn’t normal for me was what happened next.

him: ’ Hiya your looking beautiful’.

me: Erm…. thank you

him: where are you off to at this time ?

me: home

him: Do you need a lift home, can we exchange numbers, i really want to be your friend.

me: Ermm… no thank you to your lift and i don’t need anymore friends, i have got enough already.

him: Are you sure us Jewish people are rich, we can make millions together.

me: i’m sure( startinf to feel a tad bit uncomfortable).

Now, don’t get me wrong, i have no problem with any nationality approaching me, and using the same ol tired line, ‘can i be your friend’ but this Jewish man was something new to me. Something i had never experienced in my 25 years of living and  breathing. You all might be thinking, o Sharlene is overrreacting once again, and yes i do tend to overreact but, this man was dressed head to toe in their traditional attire, the fur hat, the long black satin coat, the white scarf, the glasses and the white socks visable beneath his black trousers.

Now round where i live there is a large Jewish community, but having said that they very rarely interact, unless you happen to pop in the chemist to pick up your prescription, as they own the chemist, both chemists on my high rd.

But besides that they don’t speak to no one, outside of their culture, which is why you could possibly understand my shock of aN Orthodox Jewish man trying to get in my knickers?

Part 3: The Helpless Brother:

They say good things come in three’s, but these three things i encountered on this particular early morning were not good . Let’s take Lamar(that’s the third guy’s name), i knew he was after something, just by the way he shuffled towards the bus stop, after get this…… getting off the bus . Now this bus stop i was waiting at is only for the 254 or the 253 bus heading towards hackney central or aldgate, he got of the aldgate bus and sat down at the bus stop, only beacuse he noticed me and wanted to see what could happen( fuck all mate).

By this point i was highly irritated(like i can be) and weren’t in the mood to hear anyone asking to be my friend, or wanting to get to know me better,and i think Lamar could feel that because he was cautious.

He didn’t speak to me straight away, but just keep on looking at me from a sideways point of view, until he plucked up the coruage and said, ‘hi (lame).’

i said hi back dryly, he used this as his way to open the door (fat chance fuck arse), he asked me, ’ are you on facebook?’

me: yes

him: oh

him: where you off to ?

me:home

him: my name is Lamar

me: ok……

him: can i be your friend?

This is where i snapped. Now i know i possibly didn’t need to go apeshit on him, but i was fed up three men, in one night all wanting to either be my friend, make millions with me or god know’s what.

so i told him, ’ look i don’t want to be your friend, neither do i want anything from you and honestly you don’t need to be here at this bus stop with me, if it isn’t taking you home ok?’

him: ‘ok…. i could tell you didn’t want to talk’

me: ‘i’m glad you could’.

With that he got up and walked away, leaving me with my own thoughts as to where my friend was at, as they were coming to pick me up from the bus top( change of plan, but with me things can always change like that… hint hint) and remember to always walk with a scarf on a cold morning such as this one.

Peace at last.

Sharlz xxx

Wahaca…… yes please!!!

 Good morning tumblers and tumbler followers, how are you doping today? Well i am absolutely freezing, and have felt like this for the best couple of days, but im not going to go into one of my rants like i normally do, as i thought i would write about a nifty  little restaurant in Westfield Stratford, who has stolen my heart and possibly the heart of others, maybe millions, who knows.

Wahaca is its name, and food is it game. When i first came across the restaurant i was instantly taken back, as you all know i LOOOVE food( was going to write like a fat kid likes cake, but i once was and still maybe considered phat with a capital ‘p’, but i was never really in to cake, my thing was bread), not just any old shit, good quality food, the type that you know the chef has put her hard efforts into making for you and meeting your own expectations, and this chef or restaurateur is all about good quality food and her name is Tomasina Mier, winner of Master chef 2005 and a darn good hand at mexican food.

Now, when i found out it was her restaurant, i was beside myself, my friend Bev didn’t understand what all the fuss was about and just wanted to eat(greedy sod) so we quickly entered the restaurant and found a nice, maybe even cute table near the window, looking out into the wet scenery of Westfields, nice huh ?

The menu arrived, and my gosh weren’t i happy bunny.

1) the pricing was MORE than reasonable

2) The drinks menu was MORE than reasonable

3) And did i say it was MORE than reasonable?

My eyes couldn’t believe it three beef tacos at 3.95 each, mojitos 6.95 and non-alcoholics mocktails all different flavours for 6.95 which put a smile on my friends face since she’s pregnant and can’t drink alcohol at the moment.

When our food arrived there was silence. Not a single noise passed between the both of us, this showed how much we were tucking into our tasty, scrumptious, tongue throbbing dishes.

it is very easy to over-indulge at Wahaca, take it from me i’ve been there countless times now and i always order more than what i can actually finish, or as my mum would say, ” Your eyes are bigger than your belly” which i couldn’t agree with more.

Besides the food, the hospitality and atmosphere is very inviting, dining next to us we had a family with two little young children, tucking into their delicious sugar-coated churros, a Latin delicacy that arrives with a combination of milk and dark melted chocolate, that always seems to drip down my chin whenever i’m ready to dunk a churro in the small white ceramic pot.

So why visit Wahaca for lunch, brunch or dinner? because i assure you, you will indulge on  the orgasmic dishes on offer, and at such a reasonable price, come on give it ago, if not for me do it for those who aren’t into trying new things because i guarantee once you try Wahaca you won’t want to leave it alone, mark my words, i still find myself drawn back to it even in my dreams .

Love Sharlz xxx

Early morning and late afternoon shenanigans on the 253 bus

Firstly, let me start of with saying a massive, gigantic, enormous, humongous,happy new year( even though i am……. 15 days late. As they say better late then never) !!!!!!!!! That’s enough of that, time to get down to the nitty gritty.

As some of you know, i have changed jobs (since november, but it has been that long since i last wrote on my blog, so its only fair that i start from the beginning), no longer can i be seen standing behind a tillpoint grinning at customers( you might still find me grinning though), running into the stockroom looking for an abnormal size such as 44 w and 30L? No, no  now i am a teaching assistant at this cute little primary school in Bermondsey, who i might say are WORKING MY PHAT BEHIND HARD !!!!!!!!!!!!!

So as you might expect, my days start earlier and finish earlier(yippee), however i’m finding that my journey to work in the morning fucking irritates me with the amount of morons who have nothing better to do than fuck me of at…. 7.20 A.M. Followed by pointless arguements with people spitting and swearing(charming i know) on my way home.

Let’s take yesterday morning for example, there i am in a jolly mood, waiting at the bus stop for my bus, deciding on whether to wait two minutes for the 106 because the drivers tend to speed down the road and take the clapton pond roundabout nicely, or jump on the 253 and endure a steady ride to hackney central with a bunch of boring old farts.

Since i was running late that day( my body literally didnt wan’t to get out of bed) i opted for the 253, what a fucking mistake. The miserable faces of the passengers on the bus frustrated me, i wanted to be far away from them as possible, so i went upstairs to the top deck, this was the second mistake i made in the space of less than 5 minutes. As i crept up the stairs, i could hear this noise, now i knew what the noise was, but was in shock at the check of whoever it was blasting their music so loud and so early on the bus like that. i found my seat just in front of him and as i sat down, i quickly gave him a glance over my shoulder( more like a dirty look), i wanted him to see the expression on my face, which said, ” i’m not FUCKING IMPRESSED WITH YOUR SHITTY MUSIC AT THIS FUCKING TIME OF THE MORNING!!!!!”

He didn’t take the hint.

i gavce it a couple more seconds before i turned my tightly packed body with all of it’s layers and told him, can u either put ur headphones on or turn it off, and what makes him think anybody wants to hear his music at this time of the morning?”

his response, ” i’m getting off the next stop”.

me: “That’s not good enough”

him: click( the music was turned off, as he made his way down the stairs).

Thats one down and another one to go, but this time i wasn’t involved and it took place this late afternoon.

There i am squashed by the window by a short blacked haired lady who kept on smiling at me every other second, when all i heard was, “fuck off, i can sit where i want to seat”. if you ever saw the way i nearly broke my neck to turn around and see what was happening behind me.

Two old men, one asian the other black( by the sound of his accent he was from Barbados) cussing, spitting( as they cuss) and swearing at one another as the whole bus looked on with either amazement, astonishment or excitemet. You can probably guess what type of face i had on.

i wasn’t sure what all the fuss was about, until i heard the black man say to the asian guy,” Look dere is plenty of seat on da bus, why you ave to come and squash your big self next to me fuh? followed by the kissing of teeth and then he continued, ” fuckin out of order, damn cheek” in whihc the asisn man responded with his belly hanging out underneath his jumper, ” i can seat where i want, you don’t tell me nothing, fuck off , piss off, you don’t tell me nothing.”

i was to busy being nosey, that i nearly missed my stop and to add to it, my coat got caught in the door as i tried to get off the bus.

Serves me right.

Sharlz xxxxxxx